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Create a conspiracy theory

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Create a conspiracy theory
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TheFearmongerUser avatarPosts: 545Joined: Sat Sep 19, 2009 3:19 amLocation: Lenoir, NC Gender: Tree

Post Re: Create a conspiracy theory

The world is ending.
This is a well known fact, and has been concealed from the public for three years. This has been concealed by scientists in an attemp to forestall their own exposure. It is really quite simple.

What happened is this; scientists were trying to find water on mars. If you keep up with the news, you may have already known this. Three years ago, they sent out a robotic probe, a small vehicle, to gather samples, and see what they could find. It returned, and from it's information, they wanted to send out another probe to do further exploration of a particulary enticing spot. It was near the equator, where the sun was hottest, and in it was found some semifrozen water, essentially in perpetuity in a deep crater.
The probe was heated, and then sterilized, and then examined. In it, however, something happened. The probe, as it went into the atmosphere, and lost it's outer shell, which heats up, and then separates, to prevent any falling apart and loss of data. This, it turned out, spelled our doom.
The "entry shells" fell in the gulf of mexico, and what followed was something so horrific, that I don't know if I can properly convey it to you, my fellow humans.
The bacteria on mars is always found in the water, because this is the only place conducive to life. Over the years, this has made the bacteria mostly water based. because of this, it is more water than out earth jellyfish. It is a few cells in size, and are mostly held together with the cell wall. This entered the warmest body of water, and here, our troubles began. This water was perfect breeding grounds for this bacteria. In some stage of its evolution in our oceans, it hit a rhinovirus, otherwise known as the common cold. Because of its highly liquified interior, it merges easily. This extraterretrial is, of course a new virus, and in the two years it was in the sea, it developed the ability to withstand all of our terra microbes. the rhinovirus, however, true to its form, bypassed this defense, and merged with this bacteria. This made a "super" form of these two, now known as "swine flu".
Many people have made the pronouncement that this virus is nothing to be afraid of. In fact, it is highly deadly. It's initial effects last only a few days, but its real effect last far into the future. The reason the virus stops is because it fuses with your cells. This slowly degenerates your body, shortening your lifespan by at lest three decades. I feel for the children who contract this disease.
This also affects plants, as the water they absorb is full of this virus, as is all water we drink. All animals will contract this, and it will be they first truly global killer.
Many people I have warned have not believed me. They would rather listen to the scientists telling them nothing is wrong. I will not chase them. That is because nothing can stop this. The vaccine produced by the corporations is an attempt to increase it's fusing speed, and so stop it with our immune system. This is why people seem to not contract it. They simply absorb it faster. It does not prevent it's long term effects, however. This is not being reported purposefully, to ensure mass panic does not insue. The current rate of the virus suggests mankind, and all organic multi-cell organisms will cease to exist in about 60 years. Even as I am writing this now, I have the disease. Nothing will stop it. We must simply hope some small form of life survives, and life carries on in few million years.
You may doubt the validity of my words. To you, I say I will not chase you with the facts, as it doesn't matter one way or the other. You will die. Perhaps the fantasy is better...
Lastly, I want to apologize to the world. You see, I... was one of the scientists who worked on this project. I am about to end my life, but I wanted to present the truth to my fellow humans. If ypou believe in a god, pray for him to deliver us. Our sins come back to us...

Signing off (for good),
TheFearmonger

What you think, guys? :?:
"To give pleasure to a single heart by a single kind act is better than a thousand head-bowings in prayer."
-Saddi
Sun Nov 22, 2009 3:45 am
IrBubblePosts: 246Joined: Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:38 am

Post Re: Create a conspiracy theory

Most excellent. However, I think that most conspiracynuts would like to see themselves as the underground resistance which will make a difference, thus they will not like conspiracies where they are hopeless.
Sat Nov 28, 2009 1:59 pm
TheFearmongerUser avatarPosts: 545Joined: Sat Sep 19, 2009 3:19 amLocation: Lenoir, NC Gender: Tree

Post Re: Create a conspiracy theory

IrBubble wrote:Most excellent. However, I think that most conspiracynuts would like to see themselves as the underground resistance which will make a difference, thus they will not like conspiracies where they are hopeless.


True, but I was thinking more along the lines of an H.G. Wells panic clusterfuck event. :mrgreen:

WAR OF THE WORLDS FTW!!!!
"To give pleasure to a single heart by a single kind act is better than a thousand head-bowings in prayer."
-Saddi
Mon Nov 30, 2009 7:09 pm
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