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The Irreducible Cheeseburger

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The Irreducible Cheeseburger
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NahliPosts: 8Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 3:55 am Gender: Male

Post The Irreducible Cheeseburger

The following is an alternate version of an excerpt from "Root of all Evil." Please enjoy the laughter and feel free to add this to your repertoire.


Thoughtlessly Hilarious: Sometimes it's hard for a human being to study the double bacon cheeseburger, and think that happened by accident.
Rational Dude: I beg your pardon, did you say by accident?
Thoughtlessly Hilarious: Yeah.
Rational Dude: What do you mean, by accident?
Thoughtlessly Hilarious: That the double bacon cheeseburger just formed itself somehow.
Rational Dude: Who says it did?
Thoughtlessly Hilarious: Well, some molecular gastronomists say it did.
Rational Dude: Not a single one that I've ever met.
Thoughtlessly Hilarious: Really?
Rational Dude: Really. You obviously know nothing about the subject of molecular gastronomy.
Thoughtlessly Hilarious: Or maybe you haven't met the people I have.
Rational Dude: So what is it that you think, that one day God just handed down the divine recipe for the double bacon cheeseburger?
Thoughtlessly Hilarious: Exactly! Obviously the double bacon cheeseburgers far too complex to ever come about from nature or the mind of man only God could have created the double bacon cheeseburger.
Rational Dude: What you're doing then is ignoring years of cultivation to develop the proper lettuce years of cultivation and research to develop the proper pickle to grow the right type of tomatoes and onions. You're ignoring the domestication and breeding of cattle the harnessing of electricity and the mechanisms involved in making a meatgrinder and they flattop griddle or charbroiling. You're ignoring hundreds if not thousands of years of cheesemaking know how and flour milling and bread baking. You're ignoring the cultivation of the sesame seed the domestication of the pig the advancement of society to the point where the pig became healthy to eat and we discovered the deliciousness that is bacon. Why would you want to ignore all of that advancement just to replace it with the foolish statement of "God did it."
Thoughtlessly Hilarious: Cultivation and domestication you with your big fancy science words lording over everyone, you just can't see the majesty of God in the burger.
Mon Jan 20, 2014 10:56 pm
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